message in a bottle
by arisu rin
Summary: —she wrote him a million letters, but only sends one. Zack/Aerith


**disclaimer: **Final Fantasy isn't mine.  
**pairings: **Zack/Aerith  
**spoiler warning: **  
**notes: **this is kind of(very) different from the game, which i didn't play, but i played crisis core and watched advent children and did a load of pathetic research on Aerith's death (there isn't much i could find- i need to play the game to understand it) before i wrote this. so don't get mad at me for having it different from the actual game, but i tried.  
**also**: i hope you guys enjoy it. this is me not doing finals. and strangely the title has little to do with the actual plot, i think.

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message in a bottle  
**she wrote him a million letters, but only sends one  
.

—seeing him sleeping was the most beautiful thing ever, but god despite his beauty, watching him sleep for eternity was the ugliest thing she had ever seen—

She met him when he fell from the sky; she liked to call him her guardian angel and liked his light kisses and soft touches. Her mother didn't approve of him— he was a killer, he killed more people than she ever knew and probably kissed more girls, who were enraptured by those blue eyes like she was.

But then he went away off to a war, with promises to write and he does, he writes and writes and writes (and most of the time, she's unable to send a reply because he's always moving to all these different places, but she writes these letters to him anyways, but keeps them in her room under her bed.) _And she fears that he's moving on without her— _nowadays she laughs at the irony of that phrase because he's dead, and cold and bloody and he's in the fucking afterlife.

And she's alone.

.

—contrary to popular belief she didn't fall in love with Cloud Strife. She found him as an excuse to live in the past, no matter how cruel that might be to him—

Every time she sees Cloud, she thinks her heart breaks a little more each and every moment. Because it's all wrong, she wants to say every time Cloud visits her lonely little church full of flowers, which she grew just for the sake of it— because the flowers that die always come back to life. She thinks that the more she wishes; maybe he'll come back to life, too. Cloud doesn't understand that she loves the idea of him and that there is a perfectly beautiful, strong girl just waiting for him to realize what she's known all along.

("You're in love with a deadman, aren't you?"

Smile. "Yes— but I think I'm rather cruel for letting him care for me."

"You aren't cruel— you're a woman whose just needs something to hang on to.")

She likes to think something happened that night, some understanding between women. A connection— and she thinks it's the most glorious and saddening thing that can happen between women, a bond that comes from tragedies.

.

—the more letters she writes, the less tears fall and she can help, but wonder if that is a good thing—

The writing of letters never stops, no matter how much times passes she thinks that she will always be in love with him, but the letters are having less tear stains as the days go by. And she imagines what he would say to her, what he would ask her. Secretly reading what other husbands and boyfriends write to their lovers and imaging it being written in Zack's scrawl— if the other women know this, they don't say a word.

She talks to Reno, sometimes. Because Reno is wonderful and funny, and oddly charming making her laugh during the coldest days— but he's calculating and smart and dangerous, but he stops and smells the flowers with her. She enjoys reprimanding him for smoking and he enjoys teasing her, with fun and games.

("The tears are falling less and less, when I'm with you, is it because I'm in love with you?"

"Maybe you are." And he grins, and reminds her so much of Cloud, who reminds her so much of Zack that it's disgusting.

Then there is silence again, and he looks all so hopeful like a schoolboy in love as she speaks— "I can't fall in love during wars— there is no such thing as love in wars."

They sit in silence again, and Reno doesn't bother to point out that they aren't even in a war.)

Then Reno left— with the occasional letter, she rarely ever heard from him.

.

—that day when she woke up, she always knew that she was going to die and likes to think it was because of that dream that she had. The one where she captured Zack's hand—

She doesn't regret whatever happened that day, the moment when felt that knife plunge her chest. Secretly, the second it happened and she was just bleeding; she felt liberated. As Cloud blamed himself, she could only smile and shake her head.

Because no matter how life ended up, no matter how tragic it ended up, she thinks it perfect because she's finally together with him.

.

—and some people grieved for her, others blamed themselves for her death; some didn't even care because it didn't matter that she was dead, and broken, with the smile on her face, you'd think she died in her sleep calling out to an angel.

and in a way, she did.—

.

the end


End file.
